Mom and I are on a Levi's Fever. There was the annual tade in your old jeans for $50. Guess what. Mom bought like 5 jeans in the short span of time. I'm catching the fever and bought a pair. Nice comfy and they look great on me. Learnt the thing about jean pockets. Needs to be on the butt for a great perky butt look.

I'm going to get another one soon. However, Clement's not too keen on the money spending. Oh the other hand, I think I need more fitting clothes for society. I can't look like I'm the one getting tutored.

Sighs.
Xen

Tags: levi's

I AM SO VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD!!!!!

My ebook journal AND pictures have been accidentally cleared in the REFORMATT!!! I thought I had them in the harddrive, but it wasn't. Now, I don't have the photographic memories of the past year! Life was wonderful but I can only write about it. A picture says a thousand words and more. I've lost.... a thousand pictures!!! And those pictures can NEVER be described in words!!

Devastated,
Xen

Tags: devastated, devastation, lost
Current Mood: DEVASTATED!

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Tags: foreigners, news paper, nus, prostitutes, rape, restaurant, school project, victim
Current Mood: amused

Some things just won't relent even if you say that you're sorry. Not everything is correctable. It seems bleak at this point. I think I'm going deaf. At age 22. Today while walking back home, my ear hurt, in my opinion for no reason at all and there's spaces of a little deafness. Not totally deafness, a little, but still very very appalling. It hasn't been hurting since I stopped jamming after that fateful day. Maybe it's the headphones that I'm using to practice my keyboards. Not that it's really loud, I can hear the keys plonking louder than I hear the music. Maybe it's about the enclosure around the ears.

I wish I could say that I'm sorry Ears and Ear Drums and Ear Hairs. Please give me another chance. Or, I'm sorry neck spine, ( I get frequent head numbness ) or head nerves, or Eyes, or  ________, if I get the name, please give me another chance.

Nope. None of that. No begging for forgiveness. What is gone is gone. I've damaged my ears and it's gone. And I can't beg for forgiveness.

Cries and Wails.
Xen....

Tags: beg, damage, deaf, deafness, ear, ears, forgiveness, remorse
Current Mood: crushed

There's one thing that I don't understand is that why do kids need their own privacy? Where the hell did that idea come from?! From hell maybe. The issue is this. The youth have become a problem. Firstly, I would like to address the issue on education. I read in the papers about a bunch of youths taking pictures in the cemetery posing with bad signs and stomping on graves. Utter disrespect and two of the youths were from a top Junior Collage. That isn't very young in my opinion, but the point is, parents were pointing fingers at the schools for not teaching the kids properly and schools were arguing back about it being the parent's job as they have to divide their attention amongst so many pupils.

Who is to blame?

Well, if you want to have kids. Know that you need to plan on how you're going to bring up the kid. Simple. Take responsibility. If parents, already do not take responsibility for their kids, how oh, how on Mother Gaia, will the kids ever learn responsibility? Take that case for example, there was a lawyer on hand to explain that there might be a breech of privacy on their Facebook account as the picture was only meant for the four of them.

Kids these days are undoubtedly more well informed of their "rights" than kids of the past, but parents must show authority. Privacy. Kids need their own privacy. I think that's crap. Of cause not strangle them and suffocate them, but we shouldn't teach or put into the kid's heads that they need privacy. This is at the discretion of the parents. You don't say, " Hey kid, I'm going to give you more pocket money than your friends." You just give them more sometimes when you feel like it. You don't give your kid privacy and then demand to know what they are doing just because you're the parents.

I have a friend who was, an only child, but the house was built in the manner that the parents had to walk through his room into their room. That was the only way out. He lived with it for a big part of his life through his teens and he turned out all right. He's still alive and kicking, serving the army and happy. Yes, he's a lively person, doesn't mind the fact that he doesn't have his so called privacy.

Why let your kids have privacy when you want to check on them? Why let them have their own privacy when you have to monitor their internet access? Why let them have their own privacy when you want to know who their mixing with? Seriously, that is dumb. Really dumb.

So now, what is it about not stifling them, you ask. Well, let them do stuff on their own and ask them about it. Like, how is your day, what did you do, who did you talk to, what did the teacher say, did you like your outing, etc like a conversation. Then tell the about your day, or your day first and then theirs depending. Well, you're an adult. You can choose what to say or what not to say or even make things up like. I had lunch today with my friend Katey. She said that she likes to eat mint sweets. I bought some for her because she was really nice and helped me with my work. If they're older, just tell them more, seriously or honestly like you went out and had a difficult client if they're in their teens, but keep it short and sweet. Save the bitching. End it with a I hope he signs the contract.

If the kids demand that they have their privacy, parents, the alarm bells are sounding. Why do they need their privacy? If we are so concerned about transparency in the goverment, then why are we not interested in the transparency of our children. Why would the kid hide something. It's because they know that it is wrong. Or that it'll upset. Letting them have some kind of privacy is like allowing them to buy things with the money they saved up. Be it a Yoyo, Game Cards, Games, Sweets, whatever. That is the privacy, but let you know what they bought for whom or whoever gave them something. Not privacy hide kind of privacy.

Parents must always set an example. It is the most simple theology. Monkey see monkey do. Monkeys are very common test subjects because they are our "cousins". Treat your parents well and the kids will understand. Treat others with respect and the kids will do the same. Be gracious and the kid will turn out gracious. Because if you're going to teach them to trample on other people, chances are, if you're in the way they'll have no qualms about trampling you down too to get what they want. Adults can reason, because it is her that is like that although I'm not like that to all elderly people. How do the children take it? "There are exceptions. I'll do whatever fits me." Most of the time, it's wrong and heated. Why? Ignorance and puberty.

The people are now debating if they should have a law about taking care of elderly people. they are now questioning about the morals of our youths. The youths are now becoming more apathetic towards the elderly and why is that? Yes, there are different percentages of probability, but what I think is negligence and too much ready information. Take the parents generation for example. Negligence, but there's not much information running about. Kids are quite illiterate, can understand words but cannot understand much. So it's not as fast as today's kids. You can teach them one way for years and then they go to school for a day and pick up someone else's child's rude mannerisms and then you get angry and quarrel with the parents and school principle for damaging your child. Imagine what the child sees. Yes, you want to be right. You want your child to be right. Nobody steps in the family line, but what happens when the both of you clash? It may not be in the near future or the not so near future, but it always comes back to bite you in the ass. Although I may not be 50 years old or have my own kids, but, being a teacher, I can see how the parents are in the kids, or how the kids are being brought up if it isn't by the parents themselves. The mentality the kid has derives directly from the parent or guardian. Who else?! Ah! That is the problem.

Seriously, if a parent is irresponsible, don't expect the kid to turn out responsible. Chances are they don't. Yes, some do and THANK GOD really. And most probably, they are not going to bother about you. Or forget. Whatever. Privacy for Kids, hmmmm think twice whatever you show them, because you would really hate it when the goverment takes back a "right" that's given to you.


Be good,
Xen

Tags: child, children, kid, kids, laws, parenting, parents, privacy, teacher, teaching
Current Mood: determined

I'm not much for Chinese music considering that I've never mastered the language or am very inclined to to go past the decent conversational level. As long as I'm not reading histories and legal laws in Chinese, not that I'm very interested in reading in English too. Anyway, I've been trying to come out with lyrics and ideas for songs and sometimes they come out in Chinese thanks to Clement.

So anyway, I've been taking piano classes to give my deaden, uninspired and very fustrating playing a little boost. Although I have a Grade 8 ABRSM cert that sounds very impressive but there's nothing between my ears that will backup such a qualification. Or finger muscle memory. Like Shan Yun says that to improve you need people to help you and she says that I'm all alone. Can't do much. Which is true, therefore classes.

The second class was a little more inspiring and I've been wanted to do Chinese music or have a little idea on them because they do have nice tunes and, they basically ARE the same damn thing with little difference. BUT! As many people have given their testimonals, it's the lyrics that count. I don't really understand on my part though, listening to music for the words. Then why don't you read a poem? I guess they register the lyrics first then the song is of some help to remember the lyrics, because, the music teacher gave me a Jay Chou song and revered it as his uttmost favourite song of all time. Fa Ru Xue, Hair like snow. Of cause it I didn't know what it stood for the first time I heard it and he could be singing in Greek for all I know because nothing registered. To me, it sounded like a total generic song. Like some theme song of the ancient martial arts serial drama. I sat there wondering what made it stand out against other more interesting stuff. Don't get me wrong. I thought the tune was nice. It sounded nice, but for me, I have a very foggy memory and I might just get lost halfway and turn it into another song without me realizing it and then get confused a few bars later.

Still, it was something that I wanted to learn. It's not a complain. I think the song is nice. Listening to the song once when he sang it and having sheet music is still not enough for me so I had to do a little research to go find the song on youtube to loop it a couple of times or several and then I looked up the lyrics. Luckily for the translation because the lyrics were written in some ancient Chinese style. Definately not conversational. It is beautiful and it... will be after studying it for a few days...

And then it got it me. Dang, will I ever get to write stuff like these if I ever want to get into song writing for the Chinese industry? Besides session-ing as a pianist. But there are different styles. Then maybe I should just stick to English and FOCUS. I need lots and lots of FOCUS. I don't know. I'm as confused as ever. It sucks to be me, but I'm stuck to be me.

I'll just do my best.

Confused,
Xen

Tags: chinese song, fa ru xue, hair like snow, jay chou, music, song
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: confused

It was a gathering like no other. Family Day, a day of family activities. What was strange in this family was that people seemed to have missing limbs are body parts. Now, when people had eaten their fill and had their chance in mixing about in the social circle, the part that they have been longing for was about to start.

Out of no where they took out knives, cutters and the like. Torture devices, traps and saws filled the room as they began slashing at each other in euphoric excitement and satisfaction. I could only shrink away in terror and absolute mortification. They were hurt, limbs were slashed, toes were sliced off by the trap saw wheel as I could only watch and hide.

When they were done and surprisingly nobody died only in very bad shapes with missing toes chopped and hacked at and they were nursing their wounds now. All I wanted was out. They seemed happy to be picking up pieces of their remains and were proud of their achievements. I was watching with absolute disgust as they put on their prosthetics. Finally, the grandfather or the chief said to me " you have not participated in this and to become one of us you have to do this. With that, I was locked in a room with him and he was armed with a knife advancing on me menacingly.

He was about to slice me up when he claimed that it was to show me that he loved me. And only after that will I be accepted fully. Of cause I was clawing at the door to get out and I can only wonder what was to come next....

SCREAMING!!,
Xen

Tags: horrors

Sometimes we get so self absorbed that we do not see the big picture. I think it's a reminder of other people in our lives. We should take time to show kindness whenever where ever.




That we remind ourselves that not only in africa, but around the world people are hungry. Laughter that brings you to tears. That's a whole new meaning to it. Humbled, Xen

Current Mood: Humbled

I was watching the episodes and it jerks my tears more than in the movies. This is about a young mentality robot who learns what it sees. Pretty much like a human child. Although it's a Teenage Mutant Ninja episode, I think it has some serious lessons or thinking that needs us to process....

The Origins of Nano







Nano Returns





I think Nano reminds me of unfortunate children. It's so innocent and all it wants is for "Daddy" and "Mommy" to be happy. It's what kids do. They do things to make their parents happy. If their parents are good, well, everything's all good to go. The part where he created a house, that's what's really sad and then he sees Mom and Dad fighting and throws a tantrum. How many kids try their best to do something to have a happy family only yo have MOm and Dad Fighting and then when they try harder to make the parents happy, the parents want to leave. That is SICK. But in Nano's case is a different story.

I just feel so sad for it.

Sobb, Xen

Tags: child, children, divorce, kid, kids, marriage, parenting
Current Mood: sad

I can't stop crying and watching this!




This is a little about Jason Becker. A real talent in music.




Awed,
Xen

Tags: altitudes, jason becker